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3/6/08 02:51 pm - Today!

Erik l'ange,

Today was better than yesterday but I'm still feeling really...upset with myself.  I keep letting what Gregg and Kyrihe say about me get to me...which is stupid.  I'm changing way more than they can imagine or even know (since I haven't talked to either of them in months) but they're convinced I'm still the same 14 year old, little kid they once knew.  I'm not.  But they keep complaining about my complaining.  Like yesterday I was on the phone with Garry and apparently Gregg was all, "With most girls you can say, 'I'll call you back in a few minutes' and then if you call them before the day ends they're okay.  That's not with Kat.  With her you HAVE to call back within a few minutes".  No duh.  If you're going to take hours to return a phone call you say, "I'll talk to you later"  If you tell a girl you'll call her back in a few minutes she's going to sit by the phone and wait for you to call.  Am I right?  Or is it really just me?  God.  Kyrihe and Gregg are so immature!  I know I am too.  I used to be so confident in myself but then it's like lightning hit me over the head and I realized I'm nowhere near as good, smart, talented, or mature as I give myself credit for.  I don't know what I'm doing.  I'm terrible at everything I do.  I've come to this realization and the thing is I was happier being confident in the things I was terrible at and pretending I was so awesome.  I don't know why my confidence went down the toilet...

I have musical practice at 5 today and then we don't get out until 8.  I hate it when practice is that late...but I do as I'm told and go with it.  I enjoy practice too...despite the fact because of it I have bruises all over my poor knees.  Sound familiar?

Until next time, I bid you goodbye,


Today is day 56!!
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