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September 11th, 2006

03:02 pm - Today

Erik l'ange,

I stayed home sick today so I got to watch the Today show.  Normally I'd go up to my bed to sleep but I was curious...about today.  When 9/11 happened I was only in the 5th grade (the grade my brother's in now) and none of it made any sense.  I didn't know how confused people were and I didn't know how horrible it truly was.  At that age I didn't really care about anything in the big real world...two buildings fell down that's all I knew.  I didn't think about the people inside of it or the people who had to watch it.  I didn't think about why it happened or what it meant.  I was more upset with Bush going to war in Iraq and feared a thrid world war than I was about the towers and all.  I remember I was in line for lunch and two teachers had the TV out and were watching it...I remember seeing the burning towers on the screen but I remember not caring..to me it was just another day of news.  I didn't care about the news then, I found it boring...I was only 10, I didn't know anything affected me other than my family, friends, and school.  I remember going back to the trailors (the 5th grade were in trailors because they were working on the school) and sitting there while my teacher was watching the TV...telling us nothing.  I didn't pay attention to the TV at all...I remember my friend at the time telling me that people ed NY and were coming to us...oddly enough I wasn't scared.  I believed her from what I saw on the TV but I didn't think anyone would come to us...to me back then I was perfectly protected in my mind because I believed nothing bad could happen to me.  I remember some parents coming to pick up their kids and the school let them take them...all I really wanted was to go home.  When I got home I remember sitting there and watching it on TV...it began to make a little bit more sense but not the degree that it does today.  I keep wondering how different I'd feel today had I been 20 years older then...I keep wondering what it must have felt like on that day because I didn't get a chance to feel it.  I'm sure I knew it was bad and I'm sure I felt sad for the people that died there...I know I did but they weren't buildings I knew and had been to, it wasn't a place that was in my life at the time...and I didn't watch it all unfold.  Had that happened today I would have been sobbing watching it happen...had it happened today while I was watching the today show I wouldn't believe my eyes.  Had it been happening today I may have been able to relate with the stories I hear and the emotion I see...I know I'm not patriotic but the show today, looking back on what happened has changed my way of thinking.  It's altered something in my mind that wasn't altered before because I was too young to understand...that's the thing about growing up...nothing makes sense and it takes a long time for it to.

Until next time, I bid you goodbye,

-Kathryn
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