[(¯`·._.·[Katinator]·._.·´¯)]

Has anyone else been through a long distance pregnancy?

My husband is in the military and I don't get to see him much, I'll be seeing him in about 3 weeks for the first time in 4 months.  He'll only be staying for 11ish days and is coming so he can drive me to live in California (I am currently living in Miami) so it won't exactly be us spending "quality" time together, but I really can't wait to be locked up in a car with him because that means we'll neither be able to go anywhere or occupied by anything!  Haha.

Since my husband has been gone for my entire pregnancy, he hasn't been able to do anything with us.  He wasn't able to feel when she started kicking, he wasn't able to attend the appointment where I found out her sex, he hasn't been here to see that she kicks me when I stop laughing (it's so cute!) or that she punches the speaker to my prenatal heart listener whenever I try to hear her little heartbeat, haha.

I tell him absolutely EVERYTHING, though.  We only get a few minutes to talk every day, and most of it is me rushing through the events of baby plans and such that went on in the day.  I talk to him on speaker so there's a better chance that the baby will be able to hear/recognize his voice and, every night before he tells me bye, he has me put the phone to my belly so he can talk to her.  It's often that tears come to my eyes because of the things he has to say to this child he's never had any experience of.

I send him pictures online of the bedding I like and let him choose it all.  He got the final say in her name, I just suggested the ones I liked.  He's demanded that everything for her be pink, and I do mean EVERYTHING, and I've done that.  I made my baby registry the other day and made sure his name was on it and that I picked things he'd like as well.  I scanned TONS of things that said "Daddy's girl" or "I love my daddy", I don't mind nothing saying anything about mommy because he's going to be the one away for the first years of her life.

I'm so proud of him, and I've always known he'd be the most AAAMMZZZINNGGG father that any man could ever be- that's one of the reasons I was so sold on marrying him!  I feel like he's a part of everything, I fill him in on all that the baby does throughout the day and different things that I've learned about her development and growth in the books that I read.  I'm really trying, but it makes me sad that I know this is still so hard on him.

I know that I'm doing pretty much everything I can, I'm even buying him a hat to wear that says "PROUD DAD" and he said he'd be more than glad to wear it, which really surprised me!  He won't be here for the big baby shower with our friends down here, so we're trying to plan a smaller one for just family in the town I'm going to be picking him up in just so he can attend one.

Has anyone ever gone through this?  He doesn't mention it hurting him, he doesn't even act like it does, but I know him and I know how he feels and I know he does.  I asked him one time "It's probably going to be even harder to leave now that you're going to have a baby girl waiting for you, too." and he got really quiet and asked me not to mention it again.  I didn't even realize how hurtful it must've been that I said that, I completely ruined that lighthearted conversation.  I'm still sad that he probably thinks about that a lot, though.

I would just love to hear from someone who has done this, too.  Did you have to give birth alone?  I most likely will be, and that's okay.  My family will be showing up [hopefully] the same day, whenever they can get a flight in, so I'll have some support on the way and they'll be able to stay for about a week.  It's just not the same as my husband, though. 

Okay.. Stories?

-Quick reminder cause I can't find my stats : girlfriend still at home whilst the boyfriend has gone to uni, approximately 3 hours drive apart.

So yerh my boyfriend has gone off to university, so is obviously out partying most nights. This doesn't bother me at all, as I'm glad he's out having fun, I'm only jealous that I've got to wait a whole other year til I can go!!

And as he's been out he's been in multiple pictures of all the fancy dress nights and all the other times they go out, so obviously he's in loads of pictures with boys and girls, but what happens when it starts to be the same girl in all the pictures..?

I don't know if it's just me missing him and getting worried over nothing. I don't believe he'd ever cheat on me [and maybe it's my insecurities the girl is extremely pretty], but it just seems she's there all the time.. And when they've been out in fancy dress outfits she seems to end up taking something of his home [even be it small like a hat or something].

Anyone else had anything like it? And how did you solve it?

P.s sorry if this sounds like a silly problem, I'm just not too sure what to do :(

Hi everyone :) *waves*

My name: Courtney
His/Her name: Spencer
I live: college
He/She lives: home
My age: 18
His/Her age: 18
Distance: two hours
Together since: basically been inseperable since August of last year:)
How we met: longgggg cute story actually
We get to see each other (approximately how often): Maybe once every two weeks, soon it won't be even that.
Future plans: Well, I see us getting married and having lots of  babies :D
Share some photos: 
   

My name: Jacqueline
His name: Cameron
I live: currently, North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany (on a study abroad program from south Florida - so normally we're from the geographic diagonals of North America, and now we have an ocean between us. Sigh.)
He lives: Vancouver, British Columbia
My age: 20
His age: 24
Distance: 5011 miles
Together since: July 7, 2007 - engaged since July 7, 2009.
How we met: It's complicated.
We get to see each other (approximately how often): I saw him last on July 31, and before that in March. I'm flying to Vancouver for Christmas, in 36 days, and I cannot wait.
Future plans: We're getting married as soon as we can figure out a way to do so, legally and financially. I'm an American university student working on dual bachelor degrees, and planning to pursue a doctorate in Geology (read: I have no money). Although he does have a job (and therefore income), he's Canadian. We want to live in America. Life sucks without a co-sponsor and even when we find one - I may be able to convince my mother - the whole idea of being financially independent is kind of horrifying to me before graduating from college and finding a steady job. But we really can't handle this distance any longer, so it's got to be done.
Share some photos:




The first three pictures are recent, the last is from when we were younger.

We spend a LOT of time on Skype. I spent six weeks with him this summer - he took off of work, and I didn't take summer classes - and we did everything together, every single day. It was really just so perfect, spending so much time with him, even the most simple and mundane chores - we had fun doing dishes together! - were made so much better. And when he asked me to marry him, in Whistler Village, all mountains and people on holiday with no cares in the world, I said yes and knew that our life together would be everything I had ever wanted. I am so blessed to have found Cameron, even if we have to deal with this distance... although the 'temporary' seems to stretch endlessly, it will eventually come to a finish.

I am really glad that I found this community... it is very hard to relate to a lot of my friends who can see their SO's whenever they please, and I know Cameron feels the same (he joined as well, actually). Anyway, nice to meet you all, greetings from Germany, etc. etc.!

Howdy, I was suggested to this comm over from wow_ladies!

My name: Siona
His/Her name: Geoff
I live: Columbus OH, formerly Richfield UT
He/She lives: Rochester NY, formerly Houston TX
My age: 21
His/Her age: 18
Distance: According to Google Maps, about 400 miles, give or take.
Together since: August 31st 2008
How we met: We met through World of Warcraft while we were still both living with our parents. For the longest time I was sure he was A) at least 30 because he doesn't act anything near his actual age (for the most part) and B) that he wasn't nearly interested in me at all. But he and I started hanging out more, until he finally confessed to me over Ventrilo (mic-to-mic program) that he really liked me, and it's kinda gone from there. ^^
We get to see each other (approximately how often): We get to talk to each other generally at least once or twice a day, and I got to see him face-to-face for the first time in August (I got to meet his mother too! Talk about awkward). He has college classes all day, and I work from 11 to 8 PM all week, so you can imagine this makes scheduling stuff difficult.
Future plans: To be honest, neither of us really know. We're both really young, and we kept the relationship in the dark for a while because last year I was 20 and he was 17, and we really didn't know how our families would react; he's now going to college to study computers, and he wants to get into the computer game business. I've been trying since I was 18 to leave home and get a steady job to eventually get into college, and I've only just succeeded this year. So right now, we're both trying to sort out what we want, and we're going to work from there. I'm working on finding the cheapest, quickest, safest way to visit him because his college disallows any freshman owning a vehicle, though. Suggestions?
Share some photos: This is a very old picture from my last birthday, but I'm about the same but with shorter hair. Bazing. And say howdy to Geoff. Did I mention we're both uber nerds?

This is a bit of a loaded subject.
 
I'm wondering if any of you out there in an LDR have ever been tempted by another person when your SO was away. Not for a one night stand type of thing, but have any of you met another person that intrigued you/ you developed feelings for? And if so, how did you deal with it?

 well, i've been INCREDIBLY spoiled lately.  in spite of the two of us being 1200 miles apart, lately we've only had to go about 17 days between visits.  he visited me in October for a wonderful 5 days, and just this past weekend we were both home for about 48 hours!  of course it was way too short, but it was still so wonderful.

( Why we were home )

we'll both be home for Thanksgiving in just 16 days...like i said, i'm terribly spoiled!  are there others who will get to see their SO over Thanksgiving?  do you have any fun plans?  i'm just excited to actually have some alone time with him - this weekend we were always around other people!

i hope that you're all doing well!  good luck, chins up!

have any of you ever been in a situation where you CAN move to be short-distance with your S/O, but don't?

I've been with my boyfriend since May-ish, and we planned to be moving together in January. However, over the past few weeks we've been having a few problems in our relationship and now I am having to reconsider just how ready we are to move in together =/. Granted, January is still almost 2 months away, but now I am kind of worried that it is too fast for us to be moving in together.

I'm in school here in Florida, and will be graduating with my BA in December. To be honest, if I hadn't had to come back to go to school, I might have stayed with him when I went to see him in August (he lives in Pennsylvania). I think a lot of our relationship problems recently have stemmed from the fact that we have opposite schedules (i get up to go to school while he works late), and obviously I am getting ready to graduate and have finals and projects coming up. We really haven't been able to talk for a few weeks now. Compounded with the fact that we don't see eachother physically... well, you get the picture.

I don't know, I feel crazy about postponing our move together, especially when it is fully possible for us to do so. I just feel we need time to rekindle and remember why we love eachother, especially because the distance has been so hard.

Can anyone relate? I'm kind of at a loss right now.

so last night my boyfriend told me he's not just dropping this semester of college, he's decided to not go back at all. ever.
i'm so pissed and sad and confused.
he can pay for it. easily. even without financial aid. he's smart and did well in his classes. he even enjoyed them! there's no reason. other than laziness.
i just don't get it. i don't understand how he's passing up the chance for a college education because he doesn't want to get up in the morning.
this is something i would have never expected from him. he's always been the one who's more motivated than me.
and i can't help but get ticked at his mother, because she's been encouraging him to drop it all along, and apparently he went and talked to her about it - and she told him, again, that he should.
is that what he wants? to be like his mother, working two jobs, both of them only a little above minimum wage, long hours, stressful... does he want to continue to work at mcdonald's the rest of his life? is that all he's going to bother to do?
i can't be okay with that. maybe i'm a bitch but i can't. i want him to do something more, something he actually enjoys, something that doesn't mean he's working the entire day at some point in the future when we're finally actually living together. and i don't know what to do about it. i feel like if i tell him anything more than "that bothers me" he'll get defensive about it. and it is his decision.
but damnit, i talked about possibly transferring to a community college for a year, not even dropping out, and he told me i needed to stay in school. why can't i say the same to him?
gaaah. sorry, i don't think this made a lot of sense.

On tuesday morning I fly home, after three of the most amazing weeks of my life spent here in Atlanta with my boyfriend. Its been our second visit in just over four months (which I consider very lucky), and this time we mostly just did 'regular couple' things. I played poker in his weekly game (came second once!), met his mom, cooked him dinner most nights, we had a great halloween... It was completely perfect, if not over way too quickly.

I've been a little shaky the last few days, on the verge of tears pretty easily at the thought of the trip being over soon, of saying goodbye to him in the airport, of another two months apart without all the lovely things I've gotten used to here. Luckily I'm going to be ridiculously busy once I get back home with some great stuff going on in my life, so I don't think I'll have much time to be moping about it. I'm just trying to hold it together these last few days so we can enjoy what we have left.
(  here are some pictures :) )
He'll be coming to visit me on the 28th of December and staying til around the 6th of January so that we can spend New Years together. It'll be a short visit, but he has work and school to get back to so hopefully I'll be able to come back for another longer visit in the early spring.

My heart is breaking thinking about leaving, but I'm also leaving so happy because we're so in love and this trip has reaffirmed that even more for me and made me feel even more amazing about us.

All the best to you guys
:)

I can't stop crying...He's been gone for 2 weeks because of tests and being busy doing homework. Today was the day he was coming back and I waited by the computer all day! Both of my parents are sick so I cooked dinner tonight, I thought I had my volume on...Nope
so I didn't hear when he got on...
so I missed him
I've waited for 12 days and now
I missed it
and he went to sleep
and he has more tests and homework next week. I hate time zones. :(

My name: Damon
Her name: Agnes
I live: Yuma, Arizona, USA (currently-- this was previously Bismarck, North Dakota, USA)
She lives: Ansbach, Bavaria, Germany
My age: 32
Her age: 33
Distance: 5857 miles/9426 kilometers
Together since: March, 2004

How we met: After a long stretch of time as a ward of the state that had never been able to complete my traditional schooling, I had seen large swaths of the United States and had come to terms with the fact that I was not going to be satisfied with any of the career opportunities that I had available to myself.  Nor was I happy with the women that I had met in my travels as a gypsy; they had always held some sort of American Princess complex that I've always loathed.  I thought it was a part of the human female condition but later travels proved it wrong.  I ended up joining the US Army, knowing that the war was started for false pretenses, in order to gain enough material to hopefully understand and possibly write a book about the massive institution that we had going in this country that was carrying out such massive acts of destruction across the globe.  I went to a few places for short term deployments, and then ended up in Ansbach, Germany, where I first saw my love in the winter of 2003 and early spring of 2004.  I saw her alone on a dance floor, losing herself completely to the island reggee music and it was all of the fairy tale first sight encounters that I had never put stock in before.
We get to see each other: Since I've been out of the army we've seen each other three times.  I was discharged in 2006.  I went back to assist her when my son was born in Germany for 3 months around the time of the World Cup in Germany with Italy vs. Deutschland.  I came back again around 4 months after that to see how my son was doing again with a soldier that I had been there with previously.  Military issues and problems with the American visa system began making things troublesome at this point.  I ended up losing my military career, my job as a computer programmer, network administrator, and computer security/intrusion detection professional, and had to spend the very last of the monies that I had saved up from my career in the military to go save my son from the hands of the Jugendamt (German Social Services).  He was in jeopardy because my love is from Kenya, not Germany.  She is an auslander.

Future plans: Have been made and broken so many times, through funding her several times to Kenya to get the paperwork that she has needed to come here and then having a professional lawyer in the United States botch the case to the point where I lost any chance of ever getting her here.  Now I'm just working on getting back to her, with our son, whom she hasn't seen in over a year and a half.  He's three years old now and absolutely beautiful.  After that, I want to nationalize in Germany and start working for a country who treats their citizens and nationals a little bit better after they dedicate their lives.

Photos: Let's see what I can come up with here :)





















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    luck!

My name: Lauren
His name: Mike
I live: Nagoya, Japan
He lives: Manchester, UK
My age: 21
His age: 25
Distance: Around 6000 miles / 16 hour flight
Together since: 13th March 2007
How we met: We first met at Christmas 2003 but it took a few years before we really started having a serious/adult relationship. We had both got invited this meal/party in Manchester and so he was a friend of a friend of a friend. There was a lot of people there but we both kept glancing at each other (I thought he was so cute!), but then our eyes would meet and we looked away embarrassed. By the end of the evening we had exchanged a few awkward sentences and when I went into school the next week my friend was like "his name is Mike and he really likes you" and gave me his MSN. We kinda like a little innocent romance for a while, but as I was 15 and he was 19 we kind of wanted different things. So it broke off and we didn't talk for a while. Then we started hanging out/dating again in late 2006 and really liked each other straight away, before it became official in March 2007.
We get to see each other (approximately how often): Ok so I'm British too and live in Cheshire. Back home we see each other every weekend usually. Right now I'm on my year abroad as part of my University course and we're hoping to see each other twice over the next year.
Future plans: Short term, I am going back to the UK for 2 weeks to spend Christmas with him. Right now he works as an engineer but is being made redundant next month. So he is planning on coming to stay with me here in Japan for around 90 days. In the longer term, I will be returning to the UK next August, but then he is starting University in September. So far he has applied to a few but his course is quite specialist and all of them are going to be at least 3 hours from me by train! We know though that if we can survive being on the other end of the world from each other, we will be fine being on opposite sides of England. A year on again and I will have graduated and we can finally live together properly.
Aha it's all so complicated, I apologise if I've lost anyone there.
Photo: I think we were drunk :D

Have you planned to go see your SO and it got canceled at the last minute? Will you tell me about it?

I have been planning to see my boyfriend for over a month and the plans fell through at last moment. I was supposed to fly down to see him tomorrow. Due to scheduling conflicts, we won't be able to visit each other until around December 15th. :(

Me: at college three hours from my hometown. Probably clingy at the moment.
Him: there. Sometimes has problems with communication.
Us: together... seven months now?

We finally fixed things. He's talking to me a lot more - mostly because I ended up telling him that either we'd talk more or we'd end up breaking up. I kinda felt like a bitch doing it because I know the thought of that hurt and scared him, but I was at wits' end, and it did solve the problem.

A few nights ago, I asked him if he would come up to visit me the day before Christmas break starts, spend the day, and drive me back home, so we could spend some time together. He said he was pretty sure he would. This is a Really Awesome Thing because I was thinking the first time he'd be able to come up would be this spring, due to him not talking to his mom about us dating still. From how he was talking, I think he's going to tell her when I come back to visit on the 28th of this month.

Not so great, though, is that he's going to fail this entire semester's worth of classes. He's been having serious problems getting up in the morning. So he's basically missed too many classes to pass, due to sleeping through them. Yeah, not so good.

He's getting an alarm clock for Christmas... From him, I'd really, really like a ring. Not a proposal (that's too serious for both of us right now, and besides, I'm not even sure I want to get married, ever), just... more of a promise ring.

Am I totally odd for that?